Signs of dating a con artist
At the end of the day, like any assumption, if it doesn’t stack up in reality, you have to adjust your perceptions and expectations – that’s the intelligent thing to do. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.
It's not often you receive an account of your shortcomings to your (blushing, aged) face.
For a start (and bearing in mind that biology wasn’t one of my favourite subjects at the convent school), the parts of the brain that we use for being intelligent are not the same as what we use for our emotions.
It’s also easier when you are intelligent and very good in your field because you follow a path, there are specific skills, methodologies, theories, textbooks etc that you follow and generate results.
Many people wake up in a relationship that detracts from them and/or leaves them frustrated because they have things, like intelligence, that they’re blinded by that they use to override if not outright deny and obliterate real concerns in the relationship. What you place a high value on in others says a lot about what you value or even overvalue in yourself or what you want someone else to bolster you with.
If you’re intelligent or even ‘super’ intelligent, I suggest you don’t hide behind it and avoid emotionally engaging because it’s not anything close to an appropriate substitute.
Intelligent partner doesn’t equal intelligent relationship doesn’t equal mutually fulfilling healthy copiloted relationship.
There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to or desiring intelligent partners but like anything you place a high value on, it’s important not to be blinded by it and make assumptions about qualities, characteristics and values that they might possess with that intelligence.
It’s also important to recognise that some very intelligent people will also very intelligently screw you over.Some are also natural aptitudes – something that most people just don’t have for relationships.Being relationship and emotionally smart are different and are made exceptionally more complicated when you throw in libidos, experiences, interpretations, beliefs, values, how you’re raised, confidence levels, how emotionally available you are and of course your self-esteem.Just ask the Florence Nightingales of this world who fix/heal/help or those indispensable types that cook, clean, twist, turn, and contort for partners as a substitute for actual emotional intimacy and honesty.If you don’t believe you’re that intelligent, putting someone on a pedestal and blowing smoke up their arse is also dangerous because it creates an imbalanced relationship where you’re looking up at them…from below.